We stayed cultured, but we also stay maaaad suspect (insert raised eyebrow). Here are some notes from a recent trip to the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

The concept of armour is such a ‘white man’ ideology. Obviously all of these armoured gear were made in Europe. The whole idea of being so heavy and covered with limited agility limited vision and limited dexterity in order to combat an enemy seems utterly stupid. All your opponent needs to do is set you on fire and you’ll immediately burn up/melt in your armour, or they could just run around you in circles because there’s no way that you could possibly defeat anybody running around you in circles. It almost seems as if it’s the whole idea is to be so far away from the problem vs  facing it honestly truthfully and with humility.

Ya’ll know how we love solutions and alternative methods so here is a list of alternatives to armour.

  • Play dead, when your enemy arrives everyone just drop to the floor like the fiercest death drop ever.
  • Chant.
  • smile and extent a hand…genuinely.
  • if your enemy arrived in armour, just gong them in the head, or do that  harlem shake thing that they do in basketball that breaks ankles.

*Since we are talking about European ‘armour’ figured we use that extra ‘u’ in the spelling. The Queen’s English seems to think o’s are lonely. Guess it’s our version of putting some respect on it.